The Blog

Dryuary: 3,448 days in

Dryuary is a thing now. People make a New Year's resolution to abstain from alcohol for the entire month of January. There's a website: "Dryuary is all about Not Drinking in January. Join with others, share your strength, take the Dryuary Challenge!" People can sign up to stay in contact with other dryuary participants and... Continue Reading →

Send help – I’ve hit my brick wall

I hit my brick wall five days before the election. It wasn't even 8:00 p.m., but already pitch black outside. With my dog's leash in one hand, and my phone in the other, I was looking down searching for a text someone said they had sent, but I never got - not paying attention to... Continue Reading →

Good news: everything is listening, including your keys

Last weekend my cousin and I walked a five mile loop starting at St. Mary's of the Knobs. We parked in the lot between the old catholic church and the new catholic grade school, and headed off with our phones locked in my car, my keys tied to my shoelace - the same as every... Continue Reading →

Write it down in ink

I'm having urges for a new tattoo. My last one, on the palm of my right hand was four years ago. It was a celebration of sorts - a mark on my body to remind me how long I've lasted without a drink. I was five years sober at the time, now nine years. Nine... Continue Reading →

Remembering to breathe

Can we just stop? Can we take a breath? A deep inhale, through our nostrils, taking in as much air as we can, into the back of our throat, pulling it down into our gut, farther down still, all the way down. Can we clear a space for it just below our navel - in... Continue Reading →

My Mammalian Middle Brain (or this is your brain on grief)

I finally watched the last episode of The Good Wife. They brought back a dead guy - the Good Wife's unrequited love who was murdered a few seasons back. It was a cop out. You can't bring dead people back to life no matter how many candles you burn, or seances you hold, or how... Continue Reading →

The Excavation Of My Personal History, Decorated By Sunflowers

Eight years into our marriage my husband and I purchased the house where I grew up from my stepdad. We gutted it. I called it the excavation of my personal history. We took down part of the wall between the kitchen and living room. We dry-walled the basement and had new carpet installed. We repainted... Continue Reading →

Thoughts Before Dawn On A Sunday Morning

"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." I have this Lewis Carroll... Continue Reading →

Please Don’t Stop, Please Don’t Stop, Please Don’t Stop The Music

It's Monday and I keep listening to the same songs over and over. I start with The Killers Are we human...or are we dancers? and then go to the Pixie's Where is my mind? Before the Pixie song ends, I search YouTube for Father John Misty and start singing along, "...oh, pour me another drink,... Continue Reading →

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