My Therapist Said Not To See You No More

I listened to the song “Laid” by James nonstop during my junior year at Auburn.

It was released in 1993 – I was home from college most of that year due to a bad case of bulimia, living with my aunt and uncle who already had two teenage girls and a grade schooler.

I don’t remember listening to the song so much at home, but I do remember playing the CD in my dorm room at Wittel Hall once I finally made it back to Auburn.

Wittel Dormitory was a privately owned all-girls dorm on Gay Street in Auburn, Alabama, a few blocks over from campus. My room was big enough for a twin bed, an old-style dresser with an oval mirror and a sitting area. I had a thrift store comfy chair at the end of my bed, and a wobbly wooden desk where I kept my Brother word processor with the tiny DOS screen.

There was a sink on one side of the room, and the wall opposite the door had a wide window overlooking a small courtyard with lovely trees and flowers that bloomed in the Spring.

I covered the hardwood floor with a oriental rug that had been in my grandmother’s living room most of the years I spent at her house as a young girl.

(I don’t know what happened to that rug, but it has shown up in multiple dreams through the years. In one, every female from all sides of my family are having dinner – a party – and we’re all sitting on the rug. No furniture – just a bunch of women, laughing, eating, sitting cross-legged on my Grandmother’s red, rough oriental rug.)

Later, the owner of the dorm while I lived there, a man, would be caught letting himself into one of the resident’s rooms and rifling through her drawers. I can’t remember the girl’s name, but I remember the story.

At least, I think I remember the story. One morning last week driving to the coffee shop, I had a memory of a friend who wore her engagement ring on a necklace instead of her finger.

During most of the fifteen minute ride, I tried to remember which friend it was before realizing it was Kelly Taylor…from Beverly Hills 90210.

I do remember every word of this song – even after going years without hearing it, but don’t recall ever seeing the video. Which seems impossible since MTV was all I watched during most of the 90s.