So I Had This Dream The Other Night…

Dream Symbols from Dreammoods.com:

The Color White
White represents purity, perfection, peace, innocence, dignity, cleanliness, awareness, and new beginnings. You may be experiencing a reawakening or have a fresh outlook on life.

Shoes
In general, shoes represent your approach to life. Wearing shoes in your dream suggests that you are well-grounded or down to earth. It also represents your convictions about your beliefs. If you are changing your shoes, then it refers to your changing roles. You are taking a new approach to life.

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In kindergarten, I fell in love with a boy named J—. He was an adorable kindergartner – blond hair, a perfect smile.

I’m not sure how much I knew about J— when I was five, but one of my earliest memories is knowing our father’s were connected. The two men had started a paving company during their early twenties.

A year and four months before J— and I showed up at St. Mary’s of the Knobs for our first day of kindergarten, my father drowned.

Knowing the little I now know about life, and boys, and daddy issues, I still wonder about that first crush. Psychically, it seems, my attraction had more to do with J—‘s connection to my missing father, than the blond haired boy sitting Indian-style on the floor next to me, reciting his ABCs.

J— and I continued to be classmates all the way through high school, but my crush didn’t last beyond St. Mary’s.

I can’t remember the last time I saw him. In the past, I’ve run into J— or his wife around town. Last summer, I saw his uncle whose granddaughters played in the same softball league as my daughter.

But then, out of nowhere, he showed while I was sleeping the other night.

In my dream, I am at his house, and he is giving me a pair of shoes. I think it’s odd to be there, at his house, but I really, really want the shoes. They are white ballet-style flats with a lace trim detail. He’s there with his wife and kids, and no one, except me, finds it strange that I’m there to get shoes.

I thought about that dream the entire next day. The meaning of the shoes, their color. Mostly, I wondered why my subconscious chose my very first crush to hand them over.

During my run yesterday, I connected J— to my father and my first memory of his work.

Him owning that business, and me now owning what I want to write. My first crush – the boy I attach to my father’s work – handing me the very thing I need to “take a fresh outlook on life.”

Of course, this could all be bunk. I could be making wild leaps in the dream interpretation department, and Freud was most likely a drug-crazed misogynist.

But, that daddy stuff always seems to linger in the most peculiar ways.

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4 thoughts on “So I Had This Dream The Other Night…

  1. Pretty sure you nailed it with: “Him owning that business, and me now owning what I want to write. My first crush – the boy I attach to my father’s work – handing me the very thing I need to “take a fresh outlook on life.”

    In my dream last night, I went to a mani-pedi place and they had one of those old-fashioned credit card presser gadgets, and they’d overcharged me. I’m talking, $1,000! What? In my dream I was trying to troubleshoot with them – completely thinking it was a mistake, and when I woke up, I was outraged. I wanted to call the police as though it had actually happened.

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    1. I can see you trying to fix things even though it was their mistake – mama bear making everything right!!

      I had a dream awhile back that I had to take my son to the ER and the doctor said, “he’s going to be fine, but you’re pregnant.” the dream was sooo freakin’ real, i woke up a complete mess over it and unable to shake the “…wait, am i pregnant??” feeling for days. (thank god, i wasn’t)

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